So I guess it was time I told you guys how I became a Satanist.
I come for a Christian family. My dad’s side Catholic, my mother’s side Evangelist. Catholic family members weren’t too keen on practice or church going. You know, just have one small cross hanging near the door, some of them had cross necklaces, and sometimes pray before going to sleep. My Evangelist side was involved in more practice. Church every Sunday and stuff of the likes. My aunt was the president of the Evangelist congregation of the city.
Me? I was the little boy in the church that played with his GameBoy during mass. My mother wasn’t particularly religious so she didn’t care much. At about 9 years old I said I didn’t want to go to church any more. And my mother was ok with that. So I kind of became an atheist. Then at 14 years old I had an amazing dream. It was more than a dream, it was a vision.
Azazel visited me in my mind during my sleep. He showed me bits and pieces of previous lives. He told me I was bound to achieve great things, and that I had the soul of a God inside me. That anything I wanted, I could have it. He told me to gain knowledge and make my soul grow more powerful by “searching where no one ever dares to even look at”.
After that, researching, I stumbled across occultism, and looking for more information on Azazel, I found Satanism through the infamous Joy of Satan website. From there I took what I liked and what I did not, I threw away. Little by little; the more I understood Satanism, the more I felt drawn to it. The more it seemed to me the best path, since it was a path I made myself for myself.
I started practising some basic some basic witchcraft. The results were astounding. At that time I believed Azazel more than ever: I have the soul of a God. I could control my surroundings and those around me. Not only through witchcraft, but with more mundane methods as well. That’s why, for me, the divine and spiritual is of equal importance than the mundane and material. Then I did my dedication ritual, March 20th 2009.
The dedication ritual was an amazing experience. I finally was able to feel Satan and his power surrounding me. He was there in only a fraction of his full being, and even so it felt incredibly powerful.
My experience with Demons is somewhat varied. There is a specific demon I contacted regularly for money needs, Raum. I can tell you a lot of things about Raum, our conversations being lengthy and Raum itself being either very talkative or not being in the mood for it. Raum was a human, but the only thing he can remember is dying in a fire he started himself to kill his abusive parents. The hatred and rage was consumed in his own flames. The power of that hatred was such that upon death, his strong emotions ascended his soul into that of a demon. He took a liking of helping people get money.
I contacted Azazel many times, as he is a patron demon for artists and specifically musicians. Since the dream though, he has been very quiet. I guess he told me what he had to tell me. He has helped me become a somewhat good singer in very little time.
Many demons though, don’t answer the call. Raum says that lower ranked demons aren’t powerful enough to either answer many calls at the same time, or sometimes don’t want to help for X or Y reason. Demons have almost human-like personalities. Or at least most of the lesser demons. I’ve had issues contacting Ashtaroth also, not many successful summons. Apparently she is a very busy Goddess, but I ignore how demonic society works. Beelzebub is a very old God, very far away from a human-like personality. He is amused by how our society works, he finds it “primitive and illogical”. However he is convinced Truth and Reason will slowly emerge and our society will advance, even at a slow pace.
I never contact Satan himself, because I want to prove to him that Azazel was right, and I can be as powerful as a God. As powerful as Satan himself. The only time I contacted him was not long ago. It was an emergency: It had been a year since I started looking for a job. I had no more money, nothing to eat. And all it took was a prayer. A frigging prayer. No ritual, no formalities. I simply on my knees before my altar and said “Satan, please. Help me find a job. I need it now more than ever.” Two days later I got a call for a job. No interview, no nothing. Directly to be hired.
That’s when I retook this blog and started posting again.
Fucking hell, Satan, I still got a frigging long way to go to be like you.