I’ve wanted for a long time to talk about fear in sorcery.
When I first started doing rituals, I would call upon my Gods to watch over the ritual, to be my honoured guests at my sacred space. And there to assist me if they wanted to or saw it necessary. At first suspension of disbelief has hard to achieve. I was skeptical of my own abilities and such. But the more I didrituals and workings, the more I could feel their presence. To the point that their presence was so intense I would get shivers of paranoia and spooks. But of course eventually I got used to their presence and now all I get are tingling feelings of excitement when I become aware that my Gods are here with me during ritual. It is fear that made me understand I was finally able to sesne them.
Also when meditating I usually open myself entirely and let anything in. I believe any energy, positive, negative, healthy or sickly, can be recycled and used to empower or own energy. But of course there are these little mother fucker spirits who enter your spirit to scare the shit out of you. At first I would be scared. But that fear became curiosity, and started to let myself be invaded by other spirits. I wanted to know if I could regain control, and turn their game against them. At first I would simply chase them from the sanctity of my soul, then I’d start making their journey inside of me a torture. Now I either destroy them or consume them as if food for my soul. But in any case it was fear that made me want to be the feared one. Fear, a perceived loss of control over the situation, made me want to regain this control, or at least made me aware that since the beggining I was able to control it, but didn’t realise it right away.
Curiosity out of fear also happened when I started having sleep paralysis. It was at a time where I started developing my visualisation technique and stuff. Once again fear only drew me to want to cause even more instances of sleep paralysis on myself. I wanted to be able to control it. I wanted to overcome fear by becoming over exposed to it. It was enjoyable. Not fear itself, but the feeling I was becoming less and less frightened with each sleep paralysis I had.
Fear feeds my curiosity and it has made me realise, througg exposure, that we as humans are spiritually resilient, but the first step to actually make our resilience work, is to acknowledge it. it is hard for me to understand how some people stop sorcery and witchcraft completely after having a frightening experience.
Fear, is a loss of control. Fear is ignorance. If you call yourself a Satanist, then you better study what frightened you. Experience, test, try to retake control of the situation every time you face it. Eventually you’ll suceed and you’ll realise the power inside you. The power to overcome any fear. Our soul is the soul of a God, and nothing in the astral realm can damage it without your permission, and fear is allowing them to damage you.
Feeling fear is normal, facing that fear is Satanic.