I’m becoming more and more obsessed with being an adversary, an opposer. The Satan inside me pushes me to constantly question and contradict everything. I cannot read something without thinking “well that might not be true”.
This is both positive and negative:
Being often faced with opportunities to oppose something that is preconceived as true/good/correct has enhanced my rhetoric and thought process over the years. It has taught me to take care of having hermetically constructed arguments. It has taught me to think a lot, to think for myself and to make abstraction of all preconceived things. It has heightened my understanding of the nature of truth itself.
I’m also more open-minded and critically thinking than I was before. I’ll accept any idea if you are able to prove it’s true (and I can’t respond/contradict it).
I’m obsessed with opposing everything. I am in most cases unable to hear or read a statement/fact without at some point trying to question its veracity (unless it’s out of my knowledge area). This has cost me a lot during social encounters. I cannot hold a conversation without turning it into a debate; this causes people to end the conversation quickly, as a debates are not usually welcomed by casual encounters. This is the source of much frustration. From a social point of view, it is frustrating as I just killed a conversation. And from a adversarial point of view, it is frustrating as well as it became a one sided way-too-short debate without any real outcome.
On top of that none of my old friends want to hold debates with me any more since “I’m always right”. Which is not necessarily true, but I surely have better ways to present my arguments than them, as I’m faced with that all day, but they aren’t.
It also becomes increasingly frustrating to be really ignorant when it comes to scientific matters. I’m far from knowing stuff in science, which is utterly necessary for someone who likes debates.
On a final note, I admit that I rather have debates than post things on this blog. But the former doesn’t happen as often as I would like it to.
I call this the Satanic Obsession as it is Satanic to be adversarial, to be an opposer, but it has become obsessive: it enhances my intellect, but damages my social life.